Sol y mi abuela

Getting older can be challenging, but it's something that's hard to grasp unless we are facing it or someone we love is showing signs of the wear and tear of life. This weekend I spent about 52 hours with my grandmother who is 94, still living on her own and is for the first time conveying the daily challenges that can so easily be small tasks we don't give a second thought.
Over the years she has definitely slowed down, but her spirit has never wavered. This weekend my heart ached as she was visibly frustrated with the inability to read the local bus schedule, taking 20 minutes to make a sandwich that once consumed three minutes of her time or having to help her put on her lip stick because her hands are not as steady as they once were.

I love my grandma with all my heart and although she still smiles as we wade in the pool there is a sadness about her that I've not noticed before. I know she yearns for her old family and friends and wishes she could do the little things that brought her joy that are now a part of the past. But I believe until we take our last breath that although our senses may wane, we must fight to surround ourselves with our loved ones and find joy in the little things in life that fill our hearts with happiness.
My hope is that as life throws some changes her way that the outlook will be one of life's gifts instead of life's challenges. I know at 37 that's easier for me to say, but I believe our ability to persevere and our outlook on life is contingent upon those we surround ourselves with and our determination to cling to the beauty in even the most trying of times.
My hope is that her heart will find joy and that the realization that getting older isn't something that is intended to be done on one's own. Family is family in good, bad, happy and the most trying of times. I look forward to the summer when I know that baby Jack will bring a renewed sense of joy and happiness.

The now

There are various seasons throughout our lives and some may feel more overwhelming or peaceful than others. As we creep towards another calendar year and the little one in my belly is developing and Jordan and Taylor are in college I am amazed at God's goodness, blessings and just how crazy and unpredictable life can be. There is not one of us who knows what God's plans are for us, where the road will lead us and who will come our way. But with that uncertainty I am that much more grateful for the certainty in my faith, family and realizing that each day is a gift. 

Last month I was in the doctors office and sat through my third sonogram. I consider myself pretty emotionally stable, but hearing the sound of my baby's heart racing and having the ability to see his little hands flicker and toes wiggle is nothing short of miraculous. I do not know what God holds in store for this little one, but as we take one day at a time all I can do is be thankful, pray for his health and find ways to just enjoy the now.

It's pretty cool to look back and think of the different paths, people and places that I have been and where it has all lead to. I do look forward to what the next few months and years will bring, but for right now I'm enjoying the now and that it's not quite Monday yet ; ) 

Turkey-it-UP

We are in a culture that is constantly pushing the future where there's little pause between clearing the Halloween candy tray and putting up the Christmas Tree. It's a fight to enjoy the present and as I've aged my tolerance for the exploitation tactics for the holidays has diminished. There is so much goodness to be had this time of year.
We had our annual Thanksgiving basket drive at school where over 40 families were provided Thanksgiving dinner from goods gathered from both students and our community. What better way to embrace Thanksgiving than working with others to impact people, of all ages, in our own backyards? Frozen turkeys, boxes of stuffing and bags of potatoes filled each bag making it a seriously awesome kick off to the holiday season.

This year we stayed home for Thanksgiving and it was amazing. After a pretty intense and fast paced week being able to be home with the girls and just enjoy being together while plenty of time to relax was one of the greatest possible gifts of all time. No driving, no tolls, no road rage and it was awesome. I am thankful for family and the freedoms in our great country that can so easily be taken for granted. Loving the now and the beauty of a very full present.

Another Retreat in the books

Ten years ago the first Drug Squad Retreat was held at Camp Ockanickon. At the time I had a bunch of ideas, visions and goals without grasping what the program would eventually blossom into. I am in awe of the students that have gone through this program, the risks they have been willing to take and the growth that has occured on both an individual and group level. I'm honored to say that I have witnessed lives and hearts change in some dynamic ways. 

Witnessing kids taking a step in trusting their peers, allowing their personal challenges to be funneled to help others and to assume the title of a role model within their school is nothing short of  amazing. After three and a half intense days I am left exhausted, inspired and humbled.

For the past seven years the retreat has been held on my parent's farm. The intention was to provide an informal, personal experience detached from the world back home. We're away from cell phones, face book and the obligations of home. The really cool aspect of this is having experienced all of this goodness with my parents, sister and my nephews. Tristan and Gabe have not only met some amazing kids, but this is now something they have pretty much had in their lives since birth. I love that.

I'm not at the point of wrapping my head around what next year holds, but instead I will just soak in what the last four days have held. I feel profoundly blessed to be a part of something that is nothing short of epic. Drug Squad Retreat 2014...bam!

Farm Foliage

It's insane to think it's already November. Leaves are falling, temperatures are dropping and it definitely feels like we're on the cusp of winter. Having a weekend to spend on the farm was awesome even though my energy level isn't nearly what I'm accustomed to. It was weird spending more time sitting on the porch, napping and taking short strolls around the farm instead of the normal mach speed. 

Having opportunities to sit, be still and enjoy time with my parents, Jess and the boys brings joy to my heart. I value the moments we have and watching the little dudes tend to the calves, ride on the quad and roast marshmallows makes my heart happy.
I am grateful to have time with my parents sipping hot tea on the porch and to catch up with my sister. Life seems to short to let little moments slip through our finger tips. So every visit brings more memories and deeper bonds that make life all the richer. 

fall road trippin'

I'm really  not much of a fan of Halloween. Skeletons, haunted mansions and looming fright has no appeal to me. On the other hand, October is one of my favorite month's of the year with the breath taking foliage, chill in the air, apple cider donuts, baby pumpkins and mums. It's a serious level of autumnal bounty that brings heaps of yard sales, mornings of coffee on the porch and unplanned road trips. Road trips! 

Destination: Bethlehem, Pa. 

Keith and I had approximately 27 hours of road trip frolicking where there was not any particular destination and Bethlehem is where we landed. The past few weeks have been a little rough for me between lethargy and morning sickness (lies...it's ALL day sickness) there hasn't been a whole lot of time for frolicking and taking in fall's goodness. So this was perfect! 

We spent most of our time in the historic section with cute shops, great walking trails and quaint homes. I love nature and having the opportunity to just sort of take a few deep breaths and enjoy God's creation. Hitting week fourteen of prego has me grateful in general, but having less energy and not feeling so hot made this weekend all the more meaningful. Very grateful for a husband who values my love of nature and has embraced the power of spontaneity. Every once in awhile it's pretty awesome to put the laundry, house cleaning and approaching week's responsibilities on hold and roll with hopping in the car and see where the road leads. 

Coming to a beach near you

We're having a baby!!!! We have been empty nesters since the end of August and that is all about to change in late April. I am overwhelmed with joy and elated at the gift that God has growing inside of me. Last week during an ultra sound I found myself in awe of the little hands and feet that were fluttering on the screen in front of me.  My mind is seriously blown away at how amazing and intricately made we are and getting a vip view of what's going on in my belly was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.




Our family is pretty excited, but having the opportunity to surprise my 94 year old grandmother with a visit to Florida made the whole prego experience all the more beautiful. We told her awhile ago that I was expecting, but while my mom and cousin were down in Fl visiting her I managed to go full fledge surprise on her. She opened her door, took a few steps back thinking I was my mom for about five seconds and then was speechless just hugging me and pressing her hands against my belly.
All the tiredness and plane riding craziness was all so very worth it just to see the joy on her face. I know the next six months are going to pass quickly and I am doing the best I can to savor all these little moments that mean the world to me.