I've been on the road since three this morning bound for Faith Farm and a weekend with the family. It's funny how much one can think in silence with a few cups of coffee pumping through the body and a pretty breathtaking full moon looming in the distance. I have come to enjoy my road trips that allow my head and heart to realign.

Within a half hour of my trip a song came on and I found myself in tears. I try not too think too much, but sometimes that's easier said than done. There's the reality that it has been thirteen years since I've seen my little sister. In all senses, that's a really long time. I think of Shana all the time. I don't ever see that changing. I miss my sister very much. There have been so many chapters that have been added to my life since her absence. It's hard to wrap my mind around.

The past two weeks we have been gearing up for another fun run and I found myself in awe of how many of my kids and staff members at Seneca have embraced a cause that started so long ago. Only a handful even knew any of the girls. There have been many moments where I've wrestled with the idea of just letting it sort of fade as things do. But what I have come to realize is that the kids memories live on and there are countless lives that have been changed by what occurred thirteen years ago. I'm not sure there are too many of us out there that can say that they have impacted hearts and minds in a way that the four girls have. But it is still tough.

As I drove along 95 with a moon that seemed to nearly fill the jet black sky I took a little time to think of where the kids and all of us might have been had fate been different. It's hard to imagine and maybe it's better the mind doesn't take that route. What I am confident of is how blessed I was to have Shana for seventeen years. There are days that I still struggle and wish that my husband, kids and nephews had the opportunity to know such a dynamic person. It's near impossible to paint a person so full of color, life and uniqueness with the sole use of words. Words and stories fall short, but I can simply close my eyes and a smile comes to my face. I am thankful for the memories and laughter that still cause my heart to pump with a joy that is precious.

I am thankful for the beauty of this day. I am grateful for the many loved ones in my life. I am blessed to have the confidence that I will one day see my sister again.

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