Monday, April 6, 2015

4.6.99


If I closed my eyes in seconds I could be transported to a part of my life that I could nearly graze with my fingertips while feeling another life time ago. Sixteen years and 364 days ago there were four wonderful, energetic kids that made life fuller and more beautiful for a whole lot of people. In a split second they were here and then they weren't. All of their breathe, smiles and life were taken away because of one person's decision to get behind the wheel and drive under the influence. Sixteen years later it still hurts, we still miss and we still wish our girls were with us. 

Today I had my last ultrasound before Jack enters the world. As I watched my baby's heart beat on a monitor with my mom by my side I thought how wonderful Shana would have been as an aunt and it's hard to not have your mind wander to where the girls would be today if Melissa Marvin had not been on the road that day.
We can't change the past. I miss my sister more than words can ever express, but I am determined to allow her memory to live on that reaches way beyond pictures and home videos. I believe everyday is another opportunity to allow their memory to live on through our growth, experiences and efforts to pass their memory on.
As tomorrow is just another day, it brings new opportunity to value the ones around you. Let your loved ones know you care about them. Take a moment out of your day to enjoy the sunset. Prioritize what's worth stressing about and what really, in the scheme of life, isn't that important. If you asked all of us sixteen years and 364 days ago how much time we had with our siblings, kids and friends our answers would have, without hesitation, had many years attached to them. No one knows the hour, day or year our last breathe will be taken.
Do not take your life or the ones around you for granted. Make time for a phone call with a distant relative, coffee with a parent, take a long walk without your cell phone taking in the beauty of your surroundings and just simply live. We take the blessings of life for granted. Life is a gift, not a privilege. Investing in things, stressors and the temporary is foolish and so very common. I am so very thankful for the 17 years I had with Shana and hope to never take the days given for granted, but knowing each day is a gift that is precious.