A very merry Christmas

In the past eleven years I have always been on the road, in some form, over break. This was the first year where the farthest I ventured was over the Ben Franklin for a day trip to Philly. I have to say that being still and having ample time to recharge, be at home and enjoy the simplicities of Christmas was pretty fantastic. 

In the past five years Christmas has taken on a new form with family, comfort and a happiness that was missing for a long period of time. Christmas Eve Service, decorating the tree and Christmas Carols have now become part a tradition that I am grateful for. Things that once were absent have been re-introduced and that's an awesomeness that I look forward to sharing with the newly arriving Patterson in spring of 2015. 

Sol y mi abuela

Getting older can be challenging, but it's something that's hard to grasp unless we are facing it or someone we love is showing signs of the wear and tear of life. This weekend I spent about 52 hours with my grandmother who is 94, still living on her own and is for the first time conveying the daily challenges that can so easily be small tasks we don't give a second thought.
Over the years she has definitely slowed down, but her spirit has never wavered. This weekend my heart ached as she was visibly frustrated with the inability to read the local bus schedule, taking 20 minutes to make a sandwich that once consumed three minutes of her time or having to help her put on her lip stick because her hands are not as steady as they once were.

I love my grandma with all my heart and although she still smiles as we wade in the pool there is a sadness about her that I've not noticed before. I know she yearns for her old family and friends and wishes she could do the little things that brought her joy that are now a part of the past. But I believe until we take our last breath that although our senses may wane, we must fight to surround ourselves with our loved ones and find joy in the little things in life that fill our hearts with happiness.
My hope is that as life throws some changes her way that the outlook will be one of life's gifts instead of life's challenges. I know at 37 that's easier for me to say, but I believe our ability to persevere and our outlook on life is contingent upon those we surround ourselves with and our determination to cling to the beauty in even the most trying of times.
My hope is that her heart will find joy and that the realization that getting older isn't something that is intended to be done on one's own. Family is family in good, bad, happy and the most trying of times. I look forward to the summer when I know that baby Jack will bring a renewed sense of joy and happiness.

The now

There are various seasons throughout our lives and some may feel more overwhelming or peaceful than others. As we creep towards another calendar year and the little one in my belly is developing and Jordan and Taylor are in college I am amazed at God's goodness, blessings and just how crazy and unpredictable life can be. There is not one of us who knows what God's plans are for us, where the road will lead us and who will come our way. But with that uncertainty I am that much more grateful for the certainty in my faith, family and realizing that each day is a gift. 

Last month I was in the doctors office and sat through my third sonogram. I consider myself pretty emotionally stable, but hearing the sound of my baby's heart racing and having the ability to see his little hands flicker and toes wiggle is nothing short of miraculous. I do not know what God holds in store for this little one, but as we take one day at a time all I can do is be thankful, pray for his health and find ways to just enjoy the now.

It's pretty cool to look back and think of the different paths, people and places that I have been and where it has all lead to. I do look forward to what the next few months and years will bring, but for right now I'm enjoying the now and that it's not quite Monday yet ; ) 

Turkey-it-UP

We are in a culture that is constantly pushing the future where there's little pause between clearing the Halloween candy tray and putting up the Christmas Tree. It's a fight to enjoy the present and as I've aged my tolerance for the exploitation tactics for the holidays has diminished. There is so much goodness to be had this time of year.
We had our annual Thanksgiving basket drive at school where over 40 families were provided Thanksgiving dinner from goods gathered from both students and our community. What better way to embrace Thanksgiving than working with others to impact people, of all ages, in our own backyards? Frozen turkeys, boxes of stuffing and bags of potatoes filled each bag making it a seriously awesome kick off to the holiday season.

This year we stayed home for Thanksgiving and it was amazing. After a pretty intense and fast paced week being able to be home with the girls and just enjoy being together while plenty of time to relax was one of the greatest possible gifts of all time. No driving, no tolls, no road rage and it was awesome. I am thankful for family and the freedoms in our great country that can so easily be taken for granted. Loving the now and the beauty of a very full present.

Another Retreat in the books

Ten years ago the first Drug Squad Retreat was held at Camp Ockanickon. At the time I had a bunch of ideas, visions and goals without grasping what the program would eventually blossom into. I am in awe of the students that have gone through this program, the risks they have been willing to take and the growth that has occured on both an individual and group level. I'm honored to say that I have witnessed lives and hearts change in some dynamic ways. 

Witnessing kids taking a step in trusting their peers, allowing their personal challenges to be funneled to help others and to assume the title of a role model within their school is nothing short of  amazing. After three and a half intense days I am left exhausted, inspired and humbled.

For the past seven years the retreat has been held on my parent's farm. The intention was to provide an informal, personal experience detached from the world back home. We're away from cell phones, face book and the obligations of home. The really cool aspect of this is having experienced all of this goodness with my parents, sister and my nephews. Tristan and Gabe have not only met some amazing kids, but this is now something they have pretty much had in their lives since birth. I love that.

I'm not at the point of wrapping my head around what next year holds, but instead I will just soak in what the last four days have held. I feel profoundly blessed to be a part of something that is nothing short of epic. Drug Squad Retreat 2014...bam!

Farm Foliage

It's insane to think it's already November. Leaves are falling, temperatures are dropping and it definitely feels like we're on the cusp of winter. Having a weekend to spend on the farm was awesome even though my energy level isn't nearly what I'm accustomed to. It was weird spending more time sitting on the porch, napping and taking short strolls around the farm instead of the normal mach speed. 

Having opportunities to sit, be still and enjoy time with my parents, Jess and the boys brings joy to my heart. I value the moments we have and watching the little dudes tend to the calves, ride on the quad and roast marshmallows makes my heart happy.
I am grateful to have time with my parents sipping hot tea on the porch and to catch up with my sister. Life seems to short to let little moments slip through our finger tips. So every visit brings more memories and deeper bonds that make life all the richer. 

fall road trippin'

I'm really  not much of a fan of Halloween. Skeletons, haunted mansions and looming fright has no appeal to me. On the other hand, October is one of my favorite month's of the year with the breath taking foliage, chill in the air, apple cider donuts, baby pumpkins and mums. It's a serious level of autumnal bounty that brings heaps of yard sales, mornings of coffee on the porch and unplanned road trips. Road trips! 

Destination: Bethlehem, Pa. 

Keith and I had approximately 27 hours of road trip frolicking where there was not any particular destination and Bethlehem is where we landed. The past few weeks have been a little rough for me between lethargy and morning sickness (lies...it's ALL day sickness) there hasn't been a whole lot of time for frolicking and taking in fall's goodness. So this was perfect! 

We spent most of our time in the historic section with cute shops, great walking trails and quaint homes. I love nature and having the opportunity to just sort of take a few deep breaths and enjoy God's creation. Hitting week fourteen of prego has me grateful in general, but having less energy and not feeling so hot made this weekend all the more meaningful. Very grateful for a husband who values my love of nature and has embraced the power of spontaneity. Every once in awhile it's pretty awesome to put the laundry, house cleaning and approaching week's responsibilities on hold and roll with hopping in the car and see where the road leads. 

Coming to a beach near you

We're having a baby!!!! We have been empty nesters since the end of August and that is all about to change in late April. I am overwhelmed with joy and elated at the gift that God has growing inside of me. Last week during an ultra sound I found myself in awe of the little hands and feet that were fluttering on the screen in front of me.  My mind is seriously blown away at how amazing and intricately made we are and getting a vip view of what's going on in my belly was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.




Our family is pretty excited, but having the opportunity to surprise my 94 year old grandmother with a visit to Florida made the whole prego experience all the more beautiful. We told her awhile ago that I was expecting, but while my mom and cousin were down in Fl visiting her I managed to go full fledge surprise on her. She opened her door, took a few steps back thinking I was my mom for about five seconds and then was speechless just hugging me and pressing her hands against my belly.
All the tiredness and plane riding craziness was all so very worth it just to see the joy on her face. I know the next six months are going to pass quickly and I am doing the best I can to savor all these little moments that mean the world to me.

Roots are deep in friendship

Life is full of milestones. Throughout the course of our lives we'll more than likely experience different part of our lives with different clusters of friends and family members. People do come in go in our lives and that used to bother me, but instead I find gratitude for those I've encountered who have challenged me as a person, enriched my life and have brought joy.

Returning to Jersey over a decade ago I was hesitant about how fully rooted I would be with people new and old. Now, eleven years later I am in awe of those God has placed in my life, friendships and memories that are nothing short of awesome.

I'm gonna miss her...

I don't consider myself a materialistic person. There's no yearning for name brand labels or swanky jewelry. It's not my speed. What I've found most value in are the things that bring me true joy and have a tendency to have serious sentimental value. 

There's the the first surfboard I ever had made for me hanging in our living room. It didn't cost a whole lot, but I wouldn't sell it for anything. I have my old rainbow sandals that need to be retired, but they fit just right and serve their purpose. Then, there's my jeep. Tried and true, she's been with me since 1997. 

I have always found her to be a thing of beauty, pretty dependable and my form of free therapy. No matter what the day had thrown at me, once I started the ignition, all the troubles of the world sort of melted away. 

In my neighborhood for the past few years it has been a bit of an eye sore in the eyes of my neighbors. It creaks, sputters and with age a few rust spots have surfaced. The funny thing is, none of that bothered me. 

Yesterday, the old jeep was towed away destined for a new owner. Handing over the keys to the seventeen year old girl who was beaming with excitement knowing her first car was a jeep. She had the same outlook I did and that made the loss not so bad. 

As the tow truck carted her away I realized how much of my life the jeep had been with me for. From driving along Hatteras Island scoping out the stars, driving on the beach in search of the perfect wave or to sitting in park talking with my sisters to the late hours of the night it held so much meaning. Sometimes it's hard letting go. I am grateful to have had so many memories that run so deep and so far back into the chapters of my life.
So I may be driving my FJ Cruiser every day, but in my heart I'll always be driving a jeep. 

Summer Lovin'

The past eleven weeks have been nothing short of amazing. I'm not sure I could have soaked any more out of the summer of 2014. From Give Kids the World, celebrating my Grandmother's 94th Birthday, exploring Honduras, hanging on the farm, sending the kids off to college and ending a summer as empty nesters it really has been a summer of milestones. 

With Labor Day gently reminding me that summer is fading with the return to school and a crazy schedule it was truly an amazing two months. I am thankful for time with family, friends and having the opportunity to decompress in ways that have me very ready for a new school year. 

It has been strange adjusting to a home without kids, but we're doing ok. From dinners in the backyard, afternoon yard sale endeavors, treks to Ritas and coffee on the couch we are adjusting pretty well. Every stage offers new experiences, memories and opportunities to grow. So although it's an adjustment, we're taking it in stride. 

Flipping through pictures of the last few months I can only smile and think of the million memories that have been created. Lots of serious goodness that has brought so much joy to my heart. 

Peace, Love and ongoing goodness

I love summer. If summer were a forever thing I'm pretty sure I would be fully content. My goal is to wring the most out of the sun, extra time and opportunities to love and grow.
This past week was the ideal mixture of summer days that make me happy to be alive. Tristan was up with me for the week and from our chats about life to having him participate in a leadership camp for incoming freshman it was sheer awesomeness.
I feel very grateful to have opportunities to be with the nephews and just how very happy they make my heart. The little dude was rocking out from sun up to sun down from the lake, the beach, skate park and back yard it was non-stop awesomeness. He definitely kept me on my feet and brought lots and lots of smiles to my face.

I've been a SAC for ten years now and I've tinkered and tweaked many types of programs over the years. But this was my first experience leading a group of incoming freshmen for my first annual "Peace, Love and Leadership Camp." It exceeded expectations. It was so insanely awesome to watch these kids gain insight into the power behind having a plan and goals for high school before they even step foot in the door come September. We hit on their peer group, decisions regarding substances, the importance of being submerged in the school culture as well as the richness involved in giving back. It rocked!

The week ended with close to 20 teens bringing in bags of food collected in their communities and then stacking and bagging goods for families in our area. It was awesome watching them realize the impact they were making and that it didn't take too much sacrifice on their part to do something pretty significant. My heart swelled with pride as I spotted Tristan next to the Food Pantry coordinator organizing pasta sauce and veggies. He didn't hesitate to jump in and later commented on how cool it felt to help people. There's no age limit in giving back. What an awesome week that was challenging, fulfilling and provided a sense of stoke that has left me ready for more. Bring on the goodness!

Honduras

After a pretty intense school year it was really nice to have the opportunity to go off the grid for a week in the middle of nowhere. We opted to stay on Roatan island in Honduras. It is a land of rainforest, beaches and breathtaking reef breaks. With all the beauty the country's people face tremendous poverty and with that comes the risk of petty crime as a traveller. We did our best not to stick out, although that's not the easiest of tasks when you pretty much look and sound American. Touristas....hard to deny the label.

The part of the island we stayed on was far from the ship ports, traffic and street vendors pedaling peanuts to sunglasses. Quiet was nice. I'm thinking I am showing my age when sitting in the hammock sipping coffee, reading and catching the sunset is my speed. I will say the other speed entailed free diving and snorkeling around some fantastic reef sights. How can you beat spear fishing a heap of lion fish followed up with searing them on the grill for dinner? Love it! 

It was a week that went quickly, but one that I really enjoyed. Slowing down, enjoying life and being around the ones you love make you all the more grateful for the days you are given. I'm not sure if we'll ever make it back to Honduras, but it was an amazing trip that will go down in the books.

Grads, pancakes and gratitude

So I am now officially a parent of two college kids. As I sat on the Shawnee field Friday night it was two years ago that we were here for Jordan and eighteen years ago that I was here receiving my diploma. You can't help but reflect with a two hour ceremony. It has been a long, crazy, unpredictable journey since I stood at this spot as a kid eighteen years ago. I can say pretty confidently, life has never been boring and now, years later, I am so very humbled of where life has brought me and the blessings that seem overflowing with my own kids and husband.
I have known Taylor for nearly five years and in that time it has been amazing watching God use her in some pretty amazing ways. Her heart is big, almost as big as her smile. As she received her diploma my prayer is that she will allow God to direct her steps and that she will continue to just love and give as she has in these past four years of high school. I can't really think about her not being here come eight weeks from now. My mind can't really go there yet. I am going to miss her beyond words. But for the now, I will enjoy having Taylor and Jordan home and savor the summer, time together and the goodness that comes in so many different forms.

As she marked her final year of high school it was completion of year ten at Seneca. That.seems.insane.
Ten years and in that time my life has changed in a million ways. I look around at my colleagues and it feels like we have grown up together and endured good, bad and in between of life. It's pretty remarkable.
As a proper adieu to year ten we went out in style with a last Pancake Palooza for the Drug Squad class of 2014. Pancakes are a celebration for all occasions.

So ciao class of 2014 and shalom summer and the goodness that ensues from sun, flip flops and family time. I give thanks for the countless faces and memories that move on to another chapter in their lives. It was a great school year and, for now, I am content putting a close to the school year and being at peace with a few weeks of recharge. 

Banana Pancakes topped with goodness

I love good music, surf and family. So having the opportunity to have it all in a week was pretty sweet. We were pretty stoked to attend Taylor being honored as a Burlington County Times Teen Excellency award recipient. Yay, Tay! I have to say watching her on the big screen and listening to others brag about an 18 year old kid making so many amazing things occur made my heart swell with pride and joy. Life's too short not to do good things and I am SO happy her heart desires to serve and love others in a way that few do. 

We managed to get through another week of crazy and end it sitting in our beach chairs on the lawn listening to Jack Johnson strum some amazing tunes. The dude rocks and after a pretty intense week of being, going and doing it was so very nice to just sit back and chill. I love good music and really find solace in taking the time to enjoy the little things that bring out the best in life. Jack Johnson, yes please : )
I'm not sure how one could not be prompted to paddle out into the great Atlantic after a few hours of listening to Jack. I could not deny the desire to get a little salty. So when my alarm went off a little after five there was Banana Pancakes that made the drive nothing short of wonderful.

The water was 62 degrees with the sun shining and a only a handful of guys out in the line up with clean sets of knee to waist high waves rolling in one after another. As I sat buoying in the Atlantic as most were still sleeping in bed I couldn't help but smile at the sheer beauty and simplicity of what seven in the morning held. Thank you God for your creation, opportunities to be still and give thanks and the reality that I am so very blessed in ways that I am so very undeserving. I'm grateful and digging June! 

Something about Spring

I enjoy spring, but it feels exceptionally amazing after an agonizingly painful winter. Every day I find myself driving a little slower with the windows down, breathing a little deeper and just enjoying the explosion of colors in flowers and trees. I am thankful.
With spring's arrival there is the inevitable buzz of an ending school year. It is hard to fathom that this will mark my tenth year at Seneca and in that time so many friendships, memories and crazy cool projects have evolved. 

A few of my Drug Squad kids rocked out with our last Philly Full Fledge Feed for the year. It is one of the highlights of my job watching kids serve others and gain enlightened hearts for the needs of others. Each of us can make a difference and being that the weather is a-maz-ing, there's just simply no excuse. Get out and rock out!

With outreach I think a pretty healthy balance is found in recharging. Saturday's 5:30 am drive to the shore was about as zen and therapeutic as it gets. From the windows down, cool breeze and arriving to sixty degree water temps and waist high surf made for total perfection. I don't need big surf. I love small, clean sets with a handful of people out in the line up. It's the moment. It's being surrounded by God's epic creation and in a place that is my definition of serenity. I am so grateful for moments like these and for a husband who totally digs that I surf and knows when I'm in dire need of a little Atlantic time. It's a good spring and I plan on digging it without pushing the need for summer to roll in quite yet. One day at a time : )