A very merry Christmas

In the past eleven years I have always been on the road, in some form, over break. This was the first year where the farthest I ventured was over the Ben Franklin for a day trip to Philly. I have to say that being still and having ample time to recharge, be at home and enjoy the simplicities of Christmas was pretty fantastic. 

In the past five years Christmas has taken on a new form with family, comfort and a happiness that was missing for a long period of time. Christmas Eve Service, decorating the tree and Christmas Carols have now become part a tradition that I am grateful for. Things that once were absent have been re-introduced and that's an awesomeness that I look forward to sharing with the newly arriving Patterson in spring of 2015. 

Sol y mi abuela

Getting older can be challenging, but it's something that's hard to grasp unless we are facing it or someone we love is showing signs of the wear and tear of life. This weekend I spent about 52 hours with my grandmother who is 94, still living on her own and is for the first time conveying the daily challenges that can so easily be small tasks we don't give a second thought.
Over the years she has definitely slowed down, but her spirit has never wavered. This weekend my heart ached as she was visibly frustrated with the inability to read the local bus schedule, taking 20 minutes to make a sandwich that once consumed three minutes of her time or having to help her put on her lip stick because her hands are not as steady as they once were.

I love my grandma with all my heart and although she still smiles as we wade in the pool there is a sadness about her that I've not noticed before. I know she yearns for her old family and friends and wishes she could do the little things that brought her joy that are now a part of the past. But I believe until we take our last breath that although our senses may wane, we must fight to surround ourselves with our loved ones and find joy in the little things in life that fill our hearts with happiness.
My hope is that as life throws some changes her way that the outlook will be one of life's gifts instead of life's challenges. I know at 37 that's easier for me to say, but I believe our ability to persevere and our outlook on life is contingent upon those we surround ourselves with and our determination to cling to the beauty in even the most trying of times.
My hope is that her heart will find joy and that the realization that getting older isn't something that is intended to be done on one's own. Family is family in good, bad, happy and the most trying of times. I look forward to the summer when I know that baby Jack will bring a renewed sense of joy and happiness.

The now

There are various seasons throughout our lives and some may feel more overwhelming or peaceful than others. As we creep towards another calendar year and the little one in my belly is developing and Jordan and Taylor are in college I am amazed at God's goodness, blessings and just how crazy and unpredictable life can be. There is not one of us who knows what God's plans are for us, where the road will lead us and who will come our way. But with that uncertainty I am that much more grateful for the certainty in my faith, family and realizing that each day is a gift. 

Last month I was in the doctors office and sat through my third sonogram. I consider myself pretty emotionally stable, but hearing the sound of my baby's heart racing and having the ability to see his little hands flicker and toes wiggle is nothing short of miraculous. I do not know what God holds in store for this little one, but as we take one day at a time all I can do is be thankful, pray for his health and find ways to just enjoy the now.

It's pretty cool to look back and think of the different paths, people and places that I have been and where it has all lead to. I do look forward to what the next few months and years will bring, but for right now I'm enjoying the now and that it's not quite Monday yet ; )