reflecting upon...

I've been doing the blog thing for awhile now taking time to journal thoughts, travels and my life. Although I attempted to avoid posting today it seems that it would be almost wrong not too. Ten years ago today the life of my family and four others changed dramatically. Shana, Angie, Meg & Amanda lost their lives to a drunk driver on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Mike was the only survivor.
It's something of a double edged sword when there is a chapter in life that causes you to wince when you think about it, yet has in its own way become a defining part of who you are. It is mind boggling to believe that ten years has lapsed and in that time a whole lifetime has gone by. Time that seems forever ago and moments it feels like it was just yesterday.
As my mind spins in a thousand directions thinking how wonderful, beautiful and painful life can be. So much we will never understand and what time has taught me is that there are things we were never meant to. April 6th, 1999 was one of those and I've come to terms with that. I believe that our girls were not taken in vain. And I believe from the inner core of me that a difference has been made through efforts of each family member in our own individualized ways. When you feel life has kicked you in the shins you can either hold onto the pulsating pain or you can take a deep breathe and continue to step forward even though there is still a sense of throbbing. Everything is about how it is perceived.
Through everything I am grateful for the blessings bestowed upon me & the reality that I had Shana for 17 years. Life can indeed hold its share of tragedy, but there is also plenty of richness and beauty. Never take those around you for granted and love and life with open hearts and open arms.