Family blessings

It's amazing what you can do in a weekend. It's Sunday evening and I'm on a train heading back to Jersey. I'm tired, but there are no regrets in subjecting myself to a crazy train whirl wind weekend on the farm. It rained. It was cold. There was even a little snow. But fishing with Tristan and Gabe, chatting with my mom and dad on the porch and catching up with my sister made it all worth it. I love these guys with every ounce of my being. 

As I think of all the different stages of life these past few years I am grateful for the time I am able to have with them. Life can truly be mad and the six hour hike can be daunting, but I am grateful for the opportunities I have even if they are brief. In the back of my mind I think of how very lucky Tristan and Gabe are to have their grandparents in their lives on a daily basis. As Tristan asked about my mom mom and pop pop I explained how many years ago that my parent's mom and dad (except for Gert) went to heaven at a relatively young age. In fact, my mom's dad and my dad's mom were about the same age that my parents are now.

I learned at a very young age that life is brief. I am thankful for my husband, kids, parents, sister and nephews. It has been through loss that I have learned how important it is to keep priorities in order, to love the ones around you and to allow God to be in control of what we have not control over. Life, although brief, is a wonderful journey that was never intended to be anything less than what God intended, your own.

Journey of the journals

This weekend I made an attempt to consolidate the many boxes and trinkets that have accumulated over my past 36 years. Lots of stuff. It's funny how difficult it can be to part with the little trinkets of our past. 

As a kid I spent a good amount of time journaling from middle school into my travels through Europe after college. It's amazing to re-enter a world through your eyes and be able to step right back into a frame of life that could have so easily been forgotten. As I flipped through the five stacks of notebooks I found myself laughing, holding back tears and even angry. In my past 36 years the pages brim with irrelevant banter of a twelve year old to the tear stained pages of the sixteen year old who had her heart broken to the shattered twenty one year old who just lost her best friend. Hundreds of pages that have spanned over two decades. 

There were pages I kept and others I chose to let go of. Some things are not worth re-living. Other portions of these pages are worth more than gold. I am grateful for the countless hours spent writing, documenting and reflecting.

Life is fleeting and it is so easy to remember little things of years past that really are pretty poignant and precious. I realize there are moments in our lives we need to let go of and others that we must learn from. We all are breathing, moving novels with pages filled with our own stories, chapters and experiences. All of these are what make us who we are and for that, I am grateful. 

celebrating life

There is something about the ability to be with those certain people in your life who just make life better. They make you smile. You can laugh, yell, cry and vent in the richest of ways. There's a history you hold and those people know you like very few do. That's a gift that goes beyond words. 

Yesterday Chelsea and I met to celebrate Carrie hitting the 37 mark. It reinforced that we may be broaching the 40 zone, but we're just as capable of acting 17 again in under 30 seconds. There are people you meet in life who age you and others you come across that make you feel young. The three of us have been through some crazy crap in life, but you keep trucking through with a smile and the knowledge that you will always have those individuals that have your back. 

Wishing Carrie and amazing 365 days of 37! Feeling good to be alive : ) 

Lion and lamb

I think most of us are comfortable, at least in South Jersey, with switching up snow for water ice. My last effort in ceasing future flurries was heading out with the fam and sledding. We hadn't ventured onto the slopes (aka semi-non threatening hill) all season. Maybe it's my feeling that I haven't fully embraced the winter. If I do, could that be a legitimate effort to 'just say no' to future winter mayhem? K-Pat on his sled conquering the half pipe of Stokes Hill was one effort while our back door approach was hitting Ritas and pretending we needed our spf. 

The mind is a powerful thing. Sled approach + Rita's venture = possible tulips blooming and flip flops flipping....we'll just keep our fingers crossed. 

Dia del hermana

I'm not sure if it's a general perception, but as we age birthdays aren't quite as awesome and anticipated as they were back in high school and college. Not that there just another day, but the luster seems to wear as daily responsibilities can sometimes take precedent. 

Thirty -four years ago today my sister, Jess, was born. Happy Birthday, hermana! I have known Jess her entire life and watching her become the woman that she is today has been a privilege. 

Jess is an amazing human being. I admire her heart for others, the love she possesses for her children, an ability to persevere through some pretty intense things over the years and a desire to love others in a totally selfless way. She's awesome. 

When we both faced one of the deepest valleys of our lives we walked through it together. It was Jess who looked me in the eye and called me on my crap. It was Jess who pursued me when my heart hurt in a way only she could understand. It was Jess who walked beside me in the darkest moments of our lives. I am thankful and blessed beyond belief that God matched us up together as siblings. She's my bud and as years pass I find solace in her voice, peace in our memories and comfort in the fact that we can make it through anything. 

Wishing my sibling a day of goodness, because she deserves it! Happy Birthday, Jess!!!