Outlook is everything

Since Friday I have had a bout with the flu, feeling funk or whatever medical term you would like to call it. It isn't that often that the sense of funk knocks me down for a few days. Lots of coughing, dizzy spells and expending a heap of energy for simple tasks that I usually don't even think about.

It was three days that felt more along the lines of six days and it gave me ample time to think of how often I take my health for granted. I was a bit inconvenienced for three days of my life while there are some who are unable to get out of bed each day. There are those who battle with daily ailments that I can't even wrap my mind around. Every day I roll out of bed, get dressed and go into the world doing my thing. Are there aches and pains once in awhile? Absolutely. Do I have any right to complain? Absolutely not.

I am grateful for the ability to breathe without assistance. I am grateful for the ability to jog up and down the steps every day to do whatever task I need to do at work. I am grateful for the ability to walk along the beach with fully functional arms and legs feeling the cool sand between my feet. Someday one of these just might change. I don't mean that as being cynical, but realistic. For the now, for each day I am given I am so very thankful.

They say that time heals all wounds. I strongly disagree with that statement. With the passage of time the wounds and scars may heal over, but there will always be some marking that remains. Some wounds and pains heal differently for each of us. I have come to the conclusion that the scars and pains of life have the ability to make us stronger and gain a firmer perspective of what really matters in life.



A little over a month ago I was asked to speak at a dedication of the youth center at our old church on the Outer Banks in memory of my sister Shana. I was honored that they had thought of Shana when putting the plans for the dedication in place. Friday afternoon I headed down for a quick weekend to be a part of the dedication.
It wasn't until I stood in front of the crowd that I was overwhelmed with emotion. So many faces that have held such a special place in my families heart. I feel honored to have so many people in my life who have loved, prayed for and encouraged my family when so many shirked away out of discomfort and uncertainty. I will always consider those at Nags Head Church an extended family. I'm not even sure what I said, but it was from the heart. I feel honored that this section of the church is in memory of Shana. My prayer is that through relationships forged through their outreach that lives and hearts will be altered. Life is as a vapor and may we not strive for that which is temporary and meaningless. Fight the good fight.

Carolina time

Mile post 7.5 is where my family and I once lived for a few years in Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina. When I crossed the bridge late afternoon on Friday I automatically rolled the windows down to take in the salt air and   the cool Carolina breeze. My dad, Jess & the boys met up with me later that night to spend the weekend together. Keith & Jordan headed up to New England doing a few college visits and Taylor is kicking it into high gear for the final week before her school play debuts. My mom had to head to Bayonne to help out my aunt and could have really benefited from a little down time.


It was nice to hang on the beach, build sand castles and catch up with old friends. Dear friends of ours, Steve and Diana, came over for dinner on Saturday night. After dinner Steve brought out his famous shearers and gave the boys a hair cut. It was great watching my dad just relax, enjoy the company of good friends and take in a little re-charge time that is so rare in the life of the American farmer.


Although the weather turned a bit our last leg of our trip part of me finds solace in the howling Carolina winds that stir the ocean waters and causes a methodical sway along the beach homes that brings a sort of comfort to me. I miss this place, but it also evokes a sadness that stings my heart. But I cling to the good, the happy and the beauty in a place on the map that will always have a sense of home to it.

A little sea, a little Gert and a whole lot of nosh

Whenever I visit my grandmother there is no shortage of interesting stories, waxed fruit, pints of matzo ball soup saran wrapped in the freezer and the sense of everything in the day revolving around meal time. My mom and I headed to Fort Lauderdale to spend some time with Grandma Gert. I love my grandmother, but we are SO different. Yet even with being polar opposites we managed to find a pretty swanky matching top while on a shopping trip. Yes, my 91 year old grandmother and I own the same shirt. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

My mom and I managed to sneak away to the closest break for a little paddle out time on the Atlantic. I guess that would be more of me submerging in the Atlantic while my mom dug her toes in the sand and just might have relaxed a bit : ) I always encourage the kids I work with to find their natural high and I am a big believer in practicing what you preach. Wading in 74 degree water in the middle of the Atlantic was the instant remedy to all things of a stressful nature. Palm trees swaying in the wind, emerald green water and amazingly warm water was an instant state of relaxation that put my heart in a good place. 

One of the greatest perks of visits to Grandma are the unending options of EPIC food. There are times I think one of my vices is food. I love good, yummy and fun food. When my mom and I are together we become obsessed with finding the greatest place in the area to invest our taste buds. So we pretty much hit the jack pot when we visited a local diner with chutzpa, nosh and latkes on the same page of their menu. With that, there is no going wrong. I did not throw my lakes in the air, but they did hit the stomach and were amazing along with stuffed cabbage and a killer reuben.

Although the weekend of a little sun, a lot of food and a bit of Gert was pleasant it definitely is a place I enjoy a little of and not a whole lot of. Sometimes the goodness factor in small increments is the best way to roll. Sunny times with G squared will resume next winter...the legend will continue. 

SACs Unite!

Teachers have their convention in November. Astronauts not only have specialized ice cream, but they have trainings IN space. There aren't that many perks in the wide world of addiction's counseling, but when February rolls around I am anxious to head to Atlantic City and re-charge with my fellow SACs. The conference is ironically held in the land of gambling, gluttony and all things of a tawdry nature that our annual conference is held. What better place, right?
At least once a week I hear, "I could never do your job" or "I would never want your job." From the viewpoint of anyone viewing what the average addiction's counselors does each and every day, it seems daunting.
We deal with a whole bunch that is pretty equivalent to riding an emotional roller coaster blindfolded. Sign me up! I look it a little differently. In my heart I feel profoundly blessed to have the privilege of working with young people, their hearts, their struggles and through the thick and the thin of it all hopefully make an impact in a way that will better the road ahead.

There have been those days that I look in the mirror and wonder what if I had become a baker, a teacher or even a professional couch surfer. But as I sat in a room with 200 + other SACs last Friday it seems, without doubt, that we were all given the similar ingredients to become who we are and do what we do day in and day out. I think there is definitely something a little different about each of us in this field. You can call that a quirk, uniqueness...whatever, but the reality is that there is just that 'something' that SACs possess.

I am grateful to be able to be in a field that in my heart, even on the most insane of days, I feel that I have the ability to make a difference. When I roll out of bed in the morning I dig going to work, being with some good quality people and taking one day at a time. 

Th